I scanned the group as we sat for our first dinner at Ago. The majority of us in our 30's. Some moms, but mostly professionals. Specifically; a lawyer, a personal chef, a public relations consultant, a social worker, a dietician, an accountant, an entrepreneur, a camp director, a project manager, a writer, and an international sales manager for a clothing distributor. Oysh.....not exactly what I'd call crazy stagette material.
11 Girls. 11 beautiful and smart girls. I didn't really know what to make of it. And then, when I thought this might be a mature weekend getaway, a female-bonding experience, some spa treatments while sipping champagne ooontz oooontz ooontz (sound of hardcore dance music)......it happened.
We added some alcohol, removed some clothing along with our inhibitions and we had ourselves a Bachelorette Party.
We all had to room with 2 or 3 girls. Some of us new each other from before, some of us didn't really. I was put in a room with 2 amazing women. I was a bit nervous, but lemme tell you the ice broke, and it broke FAST.
Day 1, getting into our bikinis to head down to the pool I was exposed to a double triple XXX peep show. Wow those girls danced around the room nude like it was nobody's business. Obviously, being a woman, it was shocking but not uncomfortable. Cause hellooo..You have to do the splits and roll around on the floor with your legs spread open to get a bikini on. You have to play with your boobs and lick your nipples when applying sunscreen and of course it is totally normal to bend over and touch your toes while naked to put on your flip flops. (ok, maybe there was no nipple licking..but for dramatic purposes I like to exaggerate.)
I am going to shock you, but that last part wasn't even the pièce de resistance. My two thirty something roommates. The professionals are clean shaven. Clean. CLEAN. I'm talking 0. Nothing. Nada. Bare.
I spent the next couple of days strategically placing myself in the room during clothing changes, tooth brushing, hair blowing, lipstick and deodorant applications because all of this OF COURSE took place whilst mount Venus was exposed. I love you girls. I also love your Vajajays. We bonded. I made an appointment with my aesthetician to discuss the possibilities. Just out of curiosity....
As the days melted into each other, I kept thinking to myself; "There should be a camera crew catching this." and of course, leave it to the bachelorette to find the production team for 'Jersey Shore' filming at a nearby Gelato shop. Mike 'The Situation', Snooky and J-Wow behind the counter serving gelato don’t sound very funny? Well, try ordering from Snooky standing on a step stool because she cannot see over the freezer.
Me: "What flavour is this?"
Snooky: "I dunno"
Me: "ummm, (pointing to another flavour) do you know what this one is?"
Snooky: (Looking for a hint)
Me: "rhymes with Snoreo?"
Snooky: "I dunno."
Me: "Do you know this one over here?" (mouthing the word Coconut)
Snooky: "Robonut?"
Oh Snooky, you are so cute, but something tells me your poof is replicating what's inside your head....just some air. Sowwy, but: (Jersey accent please) So What? Who Cares?®
Making friends with da boyz...not so difficile when you are a large group of ladies....tipsy, giggly ladies. Making friends with da girlz...a little difficile.. While eating one of our dinners, the bachelorette thought it would be funny to take a picture of a family sitting next to us. A gorgeous couple with their child. I should start by saying that we were a loud group. Laughing loud, talking loud and eating loud....(you know what I mean.) So already, many-a-folk were annoyed with us from the get-go.
So as I was saying, Liana (the bachelorette) takes the picture.
Let the fighting begin.
The wife starts arguing with the husband to say something, the husband tells the wife to relax. After a few back and forths, he gets up from the table with his kid, and takes off, leaving his wife alone sucking on her cigarette.
Now I must say. If I was sitting alone at a table, and there was a large group of girls sitting next to me, there is no chance in hell I am going to pick a fight. So, needless to say that this lady must have balls or something tucked in there cause she proceeded to tell off Liana:
Lady: "Why you take peeecture of my uzband?"(so now we know she is French...explains the balls..)
Liana: "Quoi?"
Lady: "You take picture of my uzband..I see eet!"
Liana: "Ummm relax...I was testing my flash."(liar)
Lady: "Am not stoopid, I see what you do."
Liana: "is your uzband fameux?"
Lady: "bla bla bla bla blaaaaaa"
Everyone at our table: drinking their drinks and looking away.
Everyone else in restaurant: drinking their drinks and looking at us.
I wish I had a big ending for this but it kind of just fizzled out, They got up and left, the
I could go on and on about my 4 day weekend in SoBe. I have a tendency to make my blogs too long and don't want to do that here.
I was happily and pleasantly surprised to see that the 10 girls I spent the weekend with kept me laughing 'til my face hurt. It took me forever at night to wind down because my mind was absorbing all the fun and funny we had all day and night long.
It is amazing what laughter can do for your soul. I came home feeling recharged, energized and might I add- loved.
Laughter is a healer. Laughter chemically increases the oxygen levels in your body which in turn give you a "natural high". At the biophysical level, during the process of laughing; it boosts the immune system function.
So what does this mean?
Don't go a day without having a good laugh? Nope.
Make sure you make someone else laugh? Nope.
Come away with us next April for the next trip to South Beach? Yes.
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