Why!!! Why, why, whyyy! Why were you so bad??
The first one was amazing, why couldn't you be as good..? Or better???
$95 million dollars. That was the budget. $95,000,000,000,000. (Not sure how many 0's to put.)
I'm sure after reading this, you will probably still go and see it. Whether it is an excuse to get the ladies together and leave the hubbies home with the kids, or just have a ladies night...or whatever. But please know that I warned you. And for the poor shmuck who is being dragged out to see this. You DESERVE to have sex after. All night. At least 3 or 4 times. And again tomorrow morning before work. And then maybe again at work, and then when you get home before dinner, then after dinner, and then before bed again. (Milk it, because this thing is almost 3 hours lo-o-o-o-ng.)
It got a bomb in the Montreal Gazette, and has received overwhelmingly negative reviews.
The critical consensus describes the film as "Straining under a thin plot stretched to its limit by a bloated running time." (Which means: It sucked.)
Stephen Farber of The Hollywood Reporter called it "blatantly anti-Muslim". (Which means: It sucked.)
Hadley Freeman of the UK Daily Mail described the trailers as "borderline racist". (Which means: It sucked even in a 30 second rush.)
Andrew O'Hagan of the London Evening Standard described the movie as ugly on the inside, and ended by saying this could be the most stupid, the most racist, the most polluting and women-hating film of the year.(Which means: It sucked.)
Roger Ebert gave the film one star out of four. (Which means: It really, really, really, sucked.)
So it sucked. Not because I said so, but because the big guns said it.
It truly had me cringing in my seat at times. Not because the jokes fell flat, not because Liza Minnelli doing Beyonce embarrassed me to the point that I broke out into hives, and not because the 3 hour long never-ending stupidity had me checking my watch every 5 minutes. OK, for all those reasons and more it sucked. But it really sucked because for $95M, it should have been outstanding.
To put the budget into perspective, here are some other movies and their budgets:
Juno: $6.5M
Hurt Locker-$15M
Precious-$10M
Slumdog Millionaire- $15M
Let's put it more into perspective. Movies that are closer to SATC2's budget:
Lord of the Rings-Return of the King-$93M
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: $100M
And how about Forrest Gump: $55M (almost half).
How about this:
Twilight: $37M+New Moon $50M= still less than SATC2
So, I mentioned above I was cringing in my seat...I was also praying that there were no Muslims in the audience. How did they get away with so many racially offensive jokes? Yes, we know Samantha is a sexual being, we know...WE KNOW.... how many times can you play the condom falling out of the purse joke in front of the Arabs?? HOW MANY??
I'll end this by saying; Sex and the City was, and still is, one of my favourite shows. I watch reruns all the time and I tend to recite lines. SJP and her trio are phenomenal actresses and have chemistry like no other cast I have seen in a long time. I still think of myself as Carrie. No, I mean Samantha. Actually, forget that- I always thought of myself as Charlotte....Ah! fogedaboutit.
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